wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
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My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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