C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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