ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
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Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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