I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
