You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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