Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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