Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
