It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
false alarm, still single
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize