I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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