i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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