Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.

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(512): did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training. http://tfl.nu/gmkx

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(310): View more from California

Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

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(310): Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/e0xw

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(541): View more from Oregon

If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f

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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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(814): Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade. http://tfl.nu/7055

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(727): View more from Florida

and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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(727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go. http://tfl.nu/b20y

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.

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(781): she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser. http://tfl.nu/fqkl

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(609): View more from New Jersey

His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

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(609): His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me. http://tfl.nu/x400

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(410): View more from Maryland

I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them

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(410): I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them http://tfl.nu/t6zs

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.

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(715): That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile. http://tfl.nu/lpc5

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(845): View more from New York

I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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(845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw

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(312): View more from Illinois

I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up

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(312): I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up http://tfl.nu/9x7s

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(081): View more from

KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!

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(081): KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP! http://tfl.nu/zqfd

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(757): View more from Virginia

do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

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(757): do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress http://tfl.nu/1usj

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(773): View more from Illinois

Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?

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(773): Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents? http://tfl.nu/nffm

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