she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.