I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize