She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
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I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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