What did we do last night that was yellow?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize