uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.