He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH