I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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