Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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