it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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