i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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