Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
