just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
