end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
God has nothing to do with this.