chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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