I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize