just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize