i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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