Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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