I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize