We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
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Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
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I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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