he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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