i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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