I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize