The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
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So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't trust your balls anymore.