Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
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Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson