so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.