Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Green mimosas i think yes
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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