I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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