I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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