You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize