i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
