Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
