operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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