shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
