3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize