please come you make the beer taste better
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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