Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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