Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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