Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How external is "for external use only"?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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