my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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