a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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