I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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