If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it's great music for shaving your balls
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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