Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
